Why “I’m Sorry” Are Two of the Strongest Words for Leaders

As my good friend and former chair and CEO of Medtronic, Inc., Art Collins, observed in our recent conversation on leadership and character: “When you make a mistake or do something that you should not have done, are you willing to recognize that? Are you willing to apologize and then try to make it right?”

Too often, a “never-apologize mindset” permeates the culture of a team or an organization. When someone refuses to apologize, they often want to appear strong and in charge. However, as I have observed in more than four decades in business, the root cause of their behavior is usually a lack of true self-confidence.

One of my four principles of values-based leadership, true self-confidence is the ability to see yourself as you are—both your strengths and weaknesses. You know what you know and what you don’t. You seek input from others, especially when their views differ from yours.

Amid rapid change and economic and political uncertainty, leaders must have the true self-confidence to admit when they are wrong and need to course-correct. Otherwise, defending suboptimal strategies and clinging to bad decisions can compound into serious trouble.

The test for true self-confidence

When people ask me how they can determine if they have true self-confidence, I offer two questions as a test. The first is: Have you reached a point in your life and career where you are willing to say, “I don’t know”? There’s no pretending that you know and no winging it. With true self-confidence, you can say, “I don’t know, but I’ll get you an answer—how fast do you need it?” You are not complacent; in fact, you immediately seek that information from other people.

Second question is equally important. Have you reached a point where you’re willing to say, “I was wrong—we need to change our strategy”? As a values-based leader, you have no ego investment in being right. Rather, your focus is on doing the right thing. To determine the best course of action, you seek input and ideas, especially from those who are closest to the problem or opportunity.

Whenever I mention these two measures, I often encounter pushback. One MBA student told me, “I want my boss to think highly of me—that I’m one of the best people on the team. If I say, ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I was wrong,’ what will my boss think of me?”

What this student couldn’t appreciate was how much more relatable he would become by admitting what he didn’t know or when he was wrong. This reflects my three-component model of leadership, influence, relate. How relatable will any of us be if we act as if we never make a mistake or pretend that we’re never wrong?

When we can admit what we don’t know, seek answers from others, and apologize when things go wrong, we demonstrate to others that we truly are values-based leaders. With this understanding, let’s look at three scenarios:

• The power of amends. No one is perfect. We say things that, in hindsight, we wish we had not said, or we fail to do what we said we would. In a fast-paced environment, it’s easy to try to gloss over such things, telling ourselves that’s just what happens in the heat of the moment. The impact of such behavior cannot be dismissed. People feel unappreciated and lose respect for and trust in the leader. The answer is self-reflection, my first and foundational principle of values-based leadership. As we examine our actions and interactions each day, we see where we kept our commitments, where we fell short, and to whom we should apologize. By accepting responsibility for what we did (or failed to do), offering an apology, and making amends by changing our behavior or rectifying a situation, we show strength—not weakness.
• Course-correcting. As the leader, you’re expected to set the strategy based on the best information available. But what happens when the plan isn’t working as you expected? Do you dig in your heels so you can be right? Or are you willing to say, “I made a mistake—we need to course-correct”? The answer seems obvious: for the good of the organization, you change your mind and move in a different direction. But some people find this difficult because they fear course-correcting will be viewed as a sign of indecision. Once again, we remember the priority for a values-based leader is doing the right thing, not being right. When doing the right thing means going in a different direction—perhaps as others had been suggesting all along—that’s exactly what we will do.
• Facing a crisis. When the unthinkable happens—an accident or other serious incident that results in injuries or loss of life—the world watches to see what a leader will do. That’s what happened to me in 2001, when I was CEO of Baxter International and a dialysis-filter product made in one of our manufacturing facilities was blamed for 53 deaths in several countries. What unfolded was a series of complicated responses—shutting down two plants, briefing the health ministries in several countries, providing payments to families affected by the incident, and even informing our suppliers and competitors just in case they used similar materials and manufacturing processes. Although our corporate earnings were strong that year, to show accountability I recommended to the board that my bonus and those of our senior team be significantly reduced.

Beyond the operational aspects, there was also a very human element. Among the patients who died because of the dialysis filters, 23 of them were in Croatia. Rather than issue a corporate statement, I apologized in person for what happened in a meeting with the president of Croatia. None of this was for show or to impress others—we simply acted quickly, decisively, and with accountability. An October 2002 article in Fast Company captured the essence of the crisis and the choices that we faced: “How Baxter responded would leave a lasting imprint on the company’s relationships with patients and doctors, with employees, and, of course, with investors. The episode would, for better or worse, open a window onto Baxter’s corporate soul.”

With authoritarianism on the rise around the globe, we cannot lose sight of the human side of leadership. To lead with our values means recognizing our fallibility and that others often know more than we do. We do the best we can, but when something goes wrong, we rely on our true self-confidence to apologize, admit mistakes, make amends, and change direction.

*

This article originally appeared in Forbes.